as you wish
by xxtwilight goddess xx
Summary: What if when esme and carlisle met years ago they slept together and esme became pregnant. Now Bella is all grown up so how will she feel when she meets a certain bronze haired patient. bella and edward cullen love story
1. dream come true

Esme's pov

I always wanted to have a baby, it was my dream the one thing I've always wanted, ever since i was a child myself; however I never expected to become pregnant at twenty one with my doctors child. even more unexpected was that that the doctor; my Carlisle, was a vampire, yes that came as a shock, not quite what I had dreamed of growing up. I still remembered the day it all started...

I was sitting in the waiting room of a hospital cradling my hand in the other, the receptionist called me through to an examining room. A blond doctor was standing facing away from me as I walked in, he turned to face me MAN he was gorgeous, I immediately dropped my eyes. "ok can you have a seat on the bed over there and ill examine your wrist" he requested, his eyes on my wrist, his was voice was very appealing and immediately put me at ease. i walked over to the bed lifting myself on; putting pressure on my wrists, I winced in pain. I took the pressure off almost falling to the floor, I would of had it not been for the blond angel catching me and holding me against his chest. I raised my head, locking my eyes with his. They were a gorgeous gold colour, I swallowed nervously but didn't make any movement to move away from his embrace; he just continued to stare not moving either.

After that we became inseparable spending as much time together as possible, but I knew he was hiding something from me. "Please Carlisle you can trust me" I pleaded day after day. He always said "i know i can trust you love but I don't want you to fear me". Until one day he told me what he was, i was stunned, he showed me his speed, his strength and I just stared at him, absorbing what he just said. He walked up to me looking into my eyes " you're afraid aren't you, i knew you would be I'm a monster" I was so thoughtless; I needed to show him that I loved him, that I wasn't afraid. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling myself close to him, his arms immediately went round my waist but he didn't open his eyes. i leaned close to him my lips near his ear " I love you" he froze and then crushed his lips to mine. our first kiss.

It took 5 whole years before we did more than kissing, it went all wrong from that moment. As I awoke; from the best night of my life, to find Carlisle gone and a note on his pillow.

Dearest Esme

I apologize from the bottom of my heart for hurting you, I know I have hurt you badly; the bruises on your body lay testament to that, I just can't give you the chance to try to convince my otherwise. Angels are not meant to lie and you my love are most definitely my angel, the way you still wanted me after finding out what I was is extraordinary. However I can't deny that our time together was wrong. I have left, I know this may seem heartless but it's for the best. Although there will never be another for me I want you to move on and have everything you have every dreamed of. I love you Esme, I have left my heart with you look after it I shall not need it anymore.

Yours lovingly

Carlisle

I cried for hours after finding that letter, I cried until I threw up. It was a couple of weeks before I realised what was happening, weeks of throwing up every morning and immediately being hungry afterwards. I researched it but I was disgusted with my findings, however I couldn't bring myself to hate my baby. Mine and Carlisle's baby, a symbol of the love we shared.

Now the time has come for the birth, I was screaming in pain occasionally passing out from it. I was in the deepest part of the woods I could find, no one would come running to help. Boy was I wrong, a blond angel came running towards me "Esme can you hear me, Esme please I love you" he pleaded. "our baby save our baby please Carlisle get her out" he looked stunned then he whispered "I'm sorry I'll get the baby but it's going to hurt, just hold on ill save you too" I nodded. His teeth ripped through my skin, I screamed then I heard a baby cry. I looked over at Carlisle; he was cradling a beautiful baby girl with my brown tufts of hair and brown eyes but with Carlisle's nose and cheekbones. I smiled "she's gorgeous" he laughed "just like her mummy". I began losing consciousness, "Carlisle" He looked at me "ok honey are you ready" he asked, " wait she needs a name what are you going to call her while I'm changing otherwise" I replied "you choose what name do you like" I sighed wistfully "our little miracle, our beautiful isabella" i dreamed of our daughter as everything went black.


	2. my doctor daddy

Some people consider normal families as a mum dad and 2.5 kids. Well I have a mum and a dad but you really couldn't consider our family normal; not when your parents are vampires and you yourself are half human and half vampire. There are some perks the speed, strength and the extra powers, if you have one in the only one in our family of four to have one. I can read minds; all of their thoughts just pop into my head but it only works if they look into my eyes and i can give my thoughts to them, cool right? Well sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't, it gets really boring after a while and you just want peace and quiet. Anyway what was I talking about? I usually ramble on a bit, mum says I get it from my dad; he always comes up with new theories. Oh yes the pros and cons of being a half human-half vampire child, well there are some bad things although I can go outside in the sun my parents can't so when I was younger I used to get really upset because I was having an experience that couldn't have anymore.

I finally look seventeen, it was always a thorn in my side that although my mind was developing very fast , my body was developing slower so when I looked aged two I had the mind of a five year old. I stopped aging about seven years after my birth. My dad has been watching my growth; both mind and body, since my birth and has been sorting through old myths about my kind but there is not much to go on. He never stops though. My dad works at a hospital in Chicago and the year is 1918 its weird seeing the world change around you, people dying and being born every day. My dad has been trying to research if I can have a baby but I don't know if I want a baby but I can hardly say it around my mum, she always says I was her miracle baby because she and Carlisle thought they couldn't have kids. I know that she would like to have more kids, even though she won't admit it. She was the best mum growing up and my dad was the best dad. They're a little bit protective of me, especially my dad. He likes me to help him at the hospital and I do because I like it too. I'm there now; I have secured a job there because I'm playing my part as mum's sister, it easier that way because they look well too young to have a seventeen year old daughter

"Dr Cullen, are you ready for your patient list for today" asked the young doctor blushing like mad. I chuckled; quiet enough so he couldn't hear. "Yes thank you doctor newton" I replied keeping it casual, as to not make him anymore nervous. He walked away and my eyes dropped to my list.

Elizabeth Mason

Edward Mason

Samantha Jones

Jane Colman

Anna-Marie Davis

Charles king

Only six today, I was relieved a bit because for the last few weeks I have had only a few hour sleep per night. However I knew what this meant another person died; a few hundred people. My dad hated to go home and pretend to sleep, I didn't like it either although I don't look much like my dad, we think alike. Just then my dad came round the corner calling my name in his head, looking round for me. Over here dad I pushed my thought to him. His head whipped round, he smiled and came over. You better go check on your first patients; they're in the same private room, their mother and son. I nodded and turned to the right ward. I knocked on the door and waited for the reply, a weak "come in" came from within. The scene in front of me was an sad one, a lady with bronze hair lay on her bed right in front of me, she tried to smie and move to greet me but she winced in pain I put up my hands and smiled to tell her I thank her for the gesture but it was not needed. To my right I could hear a faint heartbeat; I guessed it was her son. "Elizabeth Mason?" I inquired, she nodded and gestured to the next bed "and this is my son Edward" I nodded and began turning to look at him, but she stopped me worrying "you will be treating us both right" I smiled at her "yes we figured you would want to be together" she reminded me of my mum, always worrying about me. I checked her over and she had not changed since my dad checked her over.

Her son had been asleep the whole time I was in here, so his thoughts popping into my head suddenly was scary. I wasn't used to be getting caught off guard. She is truly beautiful, a real life angel, why did she have to see me like this, all ill and pathetic. I guess doesn't matter anyway as if she would look at me that way, I wonder how old she is 19, 21? Yes definitely too good looking and she's older than me so she won't want me that way. I frowned slightly at his words, I was not vain and I don't like people comparing me with them. I turned towards him and smiled, I better leave a better impression. He had the same bronze hair as his mum, in a messy ruffled way. His eyes were a deep green and they were staring right me. "Hello my name is dr Cullen you may call me Bella" I walked over to him. "Edward mason, it's a pleasure to meet you Bella" he took my hand and kissed the top of it in a sweet way. A volt of electricity charged through my skin when his lips touched my hand. I don't know what he was talking about he was gorgeous, any girl would be lucky to have him.

"How are you feeling Edward" much better now that you're here, gorgeous "I'm fine, a little sore" I frowned at that I didn't want him to be in any pain. I checked him over and smiled at his thoughts about how beautiful I was. "Ok I better go to my next patient ill check on you later" don't go angel, I'll miss you. "If you need anything just ask a nurse to come get me" he smiled. "Goodbye Bella" as I walked out the door I noticed his mother's thoughts since I looked at her son. He likes her; finally maybe she can stop him from going to war, I'll have to question him later. She seemed a bit weird but an incredibly lovely girl, very beautiful not that he hasn't notice, I heard her chuckle as I moved on to my next patient.


	3. it clicked, love

Sometimes it can be really weird when memories just pop into your head, I don't have perfect recollection of my entire existence like my parents but it is quite good. But like I said it's quite weird I can be watching the first snowfall of the year and be dragged back to my childhood, me catching snowflakes at four or me at seven with my dad having a snowball fight. However this time I remembered something that I usually did automatically, I remembered a person. A clever someone. A chivalrous someone. An amazing kind of someone. Then I remembered that, that someone, was the someone whose life now hanged on the decision I made. A life of darkness or death. Memories are strange things, your perspective can be changed by time-something that once seemed so happy can be manipulate into something malicious, something to fear. However this memory wasn't, nothing-no amount of time-could ever make me believe that this meeting was anything but perfect.

"Dad" I began needing his words of wisdom to calm me down. I was nervous, it was a weird feeling, like butterflies were fluttering in your tummy- so that's were that saying came from. My father looked over at me, he reached over and squeezed my hand, and his other in my mother's also squeezed, realising we both needed reassurance. We never usually fraternised with the others in the city; preferring to keep to ourselves, it was safer that way. Mother was worrying about exposure especially since I looked old enough to be considered for marriage proposals and that was not favourable with my father. I was considered beautiful to them but in a more relaxing way than my parents.

My father had insisted we came because we had received a personal invitation to the ball being held at the manor house, we were to be on our best behaviour but to not draw attention- I just couldn't break it to him that that was impossible. As our carriage pulled to a stop, the man opened the door and my father got out, offering my mother his hand to help her out. He then proceeded to offer it to me and I sighed and took it without complaint. "just remember to dance, have fun and don't get any more marriage proposals, I hate having to fend them off every time they see you" he chuckled albeit a bit bitterly then he smiled again "oh and remember to save me a dance". Father then offered my mother his arm and she took it smiling, threw me a quick smile and pleaded me to return it. I gave her a quick one and she chuckled and then father led her forward, I followed.

As we entered the manor I took in its splendour, in the middle of the room we entered was a huge fountain, which reflected the marble walls perfectly, effectively making the room seem ever bigger. "Isabella come, we need to make our way to the main room to greet the hosts" I nodded and again followed, I saw a pattern forming for the rest of the evening. We made our way through the crowd, until we made it into room where everyone was dancing and laughing. After my parents greeted the hosts and their son had given me and ungentle manly look over followed by my father dragging us away, my dad held his hand out half bowing and smiled "may I have this dance" I laughed and nodded, my mother had already been claimed. He twirled me "it's been a while since I taught you how to walse" he chuckled "I know and I can do it even when I'm not standing on your feet "I retorted. Then there was a tap on his shoulder "mind if I cut in" a velvet voice asked. My dad smiled and handed my hand to the beautiful stranger, he then pulled me closer and started spinning me round. "hello" I laughed, "hello" he replied and that when I looked into his eyes and it clicked, love.


	4. of course not daddy

"You seem very distracted today" my dad questioned, pursing his lips "maybe you shouldn't come in today" i wonder if its edward? what did he think i was going to say say "oh sorry dad I was just thinking about how eager I am to go into the hospital to see that sexy patient who I think I'm falling In love with" yeah I'm sure that will go down well. i laughed and shook my head "im fine just eager to get there i like helping people, i wonder where i get that from" i smiled at my dad; he beamed back at me we are so much alike, i love my little girl "i wonder if this has anything to do with the Mason family" pursing his lips again. maybe i wasnt hiding it quite as well as i thought "i dont know what you are talking about" i opened the door and we both walked out; my dad laughed "of course you don't" he offered me his arm and we began our walk, chatting lazily as we passed familiar we reached the hospital, we went to find dr newton with our patients list; i made sure to ask him to keep the Mason family on mine. we both ours, i had the same as last time.

Elizabeth Mason

Edward Mason

Samantha Jones

Jane Colman

Anna-Marie Davis

Charles king

i had become good friends with mrs mason and her son, edward they were good honest people and i felt sad when i learnt about his dad when i last visited, he had looked into my eyes and then dropped his eyes and blushed as always. his mum had chuckled same as always and i joined but winked at edward to show him i didn't mean him any discomfort, he had just blushed and looked down again. as i entered their room i smiled edward was lying in bed his face lit up as he saw me, his mum was sitting in the chair next to his bed; fussing over him. "ahh mrs mason im sure i put you on bed rest" frowning playfully at her. she just smiled knowing i didn't mean it; she let me help her back into bed and i made sure she was comfortable before turning back to edward. "now mr mason i here you are quite the chess player fancy a match" he nodded and i helped him sit up then went to get the board and peices. we played several games befor i had to get back to my other patients. i used my powers to cheat but he still won a couple of games. "ms cullen i must congratulate you on you play, it was amazing" i thanked him. "i must go now, thanking you for playing with me" i lent down to kiss him on the cheek, his heart raced "goodbye edward, goodbye mrs mason" i turned and left the room, my lips tingling and my heart racing.


	5. save him with sweet kisses

bella's pov

I had barely left the hospital for weeks; I was taking over other doctors shifts, making excuses to my dad but honestly I was doing it just to be near Edward. he had taken over my life completely, he was the catalyst for my every plan, the reason behind every decision and he didnt even know it; whenever i entered the room he would blush like mad and his heart would race. i think i make him nervous. even his thoughts were jumbled, when i told dad he just chuckled and shook his head, it was very infuriating. his thoughts didnt even give me any clues, if i didnt know any better i could have sworn he was doing it on purpose. i didnt want edward to be nervous, he was good company and his mother was very friendly as well. she kept giving me these weird glances as if she knew what i was thinking, maybe i had been working too much. i may be half vampire but i still needed some sleep, maybe ill take tonight off i reasoned with myself, nothing bad will happen in one night. or maybe i won't as i entered the masons room, edward was sitting in the chair next to his mums bed; he was holding her hand and holdig a glass to her lips, i think he was trying to get her to drink some and she was not listening.

"you would not be trying to steal my job again, would you mr mason?" i joked as i walked over to elizabeth's bed, feeling her forehead. she was rather warm, i frowned. i tapped edwards hand and he gave me the glass, as soon as y skin touched his, an electrical pulse ran through his hand and into mine. his eyes shot to me and his thoughts gave away that he had felt it too. i froze for a second before clearing my throat and turning to adress mrs masen "being stubborn again mrs mason" she smiled and shook her head at me "no my son is just forgetting that I'm the parent and that it is my job to take care of him" I saw her squeeze Edwards hand " you are correct it is your job to look after him however it is my job to look after you, how have you been feeling ?" She just laughed and replied " I'm fine" she replied she shot a glance at Edward who had made his way over to his bed and his thoughts were amazingly cute, they were wondering if I would play chess with him today. When Elizabeth saw that Edward was occupied she pulled me closer and was now so close I could smell her powdery floral scent, it was just like Esme's " I know I'm not going to make it out of this hospital, I wouldn't want to I've already lost my husband I can't lose him as well please save him! Do what others cant, save him please. He has feelings for you believe me and.I know he does and I think you do too, care too deny it" she dared me too tell her she was wrong but I couldn't, I just gave her a small smile. She wasn't serious, she didn't want this life for her son she couldn't, she didn't know what my family were. I did not reliase that she was waiting for a answer until I noticed she was still staring, I opened my mouth to answer when Carlisle sweeped into the father was worried he too was wondering what my answer would be, I just shook my head slightly at him silently telling him that we'd discuss it later "good morning Mr Cullen I trust your health" Elizabeth greeted my father "I am, now how are my two favorite patients this fine morning" Elizabeth told him she was well and I moved on to check on Edward, who had not answered Carlisle.

As I reached him I realized he was asleep, i pressed my palm against his forehead, he was very hot and my cold hand must have been nice against his enflamed skin as he leaned into my touch. I sat on the edge of the bed, Edward scooted his whole body closer to mine and I gently ran my hand over his face and ran my fingers through his hair. I don't know how long we sat like that before I noticed both my father and Mrs mason were watching us, I looked back down embarrassed, I moved Edwards head gently lap and began to get up but the movement woke Edward up "Bella?" He whimpered my name, slowly opening his eyes looking around for me "I'm here and so are your mother and my father stopped in to make sure you were alright' he blushed and looked down. Noticing his discomfort I tried to put at ease by suggesting we play chess. A game I knew he loved and I wanted to see his face when I beat him. I reached into the cuboard and pulled out the chess board and began setting up the pieces "Bella I'm just going to take Elizabeth down for some tests, we'll be back shortly enjoy your game" he backed out of the, holding most of Elizabeth's weight. I didn't fail to notice that they were both smirking as they left.I looked back at Edward, he looked nervous and I listened in on his thoughts ' I can't believe my mother, she's match-making again and with someone as utterly beautiful as her, she would not be interested in me she needs someone from wealth who could give her the world' I hated when he thought like this, maybe I needed to make my feelings for him clear.

EDWARDS POV

I was shaking from the close proximity of Isabella, Bella I sighed wistfully as I thought of her, she was so beautiful sometimes it hurt my heart to think of her because she will never be mine she probably has a fiance or even a husband at home. She sat on the bed next to me balancing the board on my lap, I was breathing hard as she leaned in closer , I questioned her reasons she couldn't be... Could she?. When our faces were a few inches away from each other she stopped "Edward would you like to kiss me?" I was stunned at her question, was she really intrested in me, that way I just nodded like a fool " then why aren't you?" She questioned. I quickly leant in until my lips met hers, my first kiss, I realized with pride was with the most beautiful woman in the world. Her lips slowly moved in a slow and sensual way, I realized that the only part of is touching was our lips but I didn't know how to bring us closer together, how to touch her and make her feel wanted. She broke our kiss and I enternally groaned thinking I had waited too long and I had messed up my first kiss. She surprised me by pushing the chessboard on the floor, the pieces rolled on the floor. She brang her lips to my ear whispered " your overthinking this, just do what comes naturally" then she brang her lips back to mine but I still thought she was too far away, so I took her advice and did what came naturally.I put my hands on her hips and lifted her onto my lap, she gasped in suprise, scared I had done something wrong but she quickly brang my lips to hers. Kissing Bella was heavenly.

Suddenly Bella pulled away and flew of my lap and sat next to me on the bed picking up a book from the bedside table and began reading to me, I was really confused at this point. However all became clearwhenBella's father walked in the room a minute later, as he entered he stepped on a chess piece he bent down to pick it up holding it between his thumb and forefinger "you know Bella you can't throw everything on the floor everytime Edward beats you". I blushed remembering the feeling of Bella on my lap, how right it felt. "We better go now Bella our shift has ended" she nodded "ill be out in a minute" he smiled and left the room calling "oh and Edward a doctor will be back shortly with your mother" before closing the door, leaving us alone. I felt guilty that I had not even noticed my mother had not returned. " I'll be back tomorrow, thank you" I was confused, I should be thankingher and when I spoke my thoughts she laughed " thank you for not overthinking" I blushed and asked her my biggest fear "so you don't regret it?" She looked shocked "of course not, never think that, I better go" she reached down and kissed me lightly on the lips. I watched her walk out of the door.

I then realized I had not checked my reflection since before I had fell asleep. I reached over for the mirror and held it up.I was actually proud of my appearance my messy hair came from when Bella ran het fingers through my hair, my swollen lips from when she nipped at my bottom lip. Then another thought came to me Bella's father knew what we had been up too, I felt my cheeks grow hot and at that moment my mother decided to make an appearance, she just laughed at my appearance "so you had fun with Bella then" I didn't respond, it seemed everyone knew about bella and I's make out session, great. We might as well sell tickets. Everyone at school would be very impressed, the only person who had been kissed before in my class was Thomas Stuarts and he said it was amazing however kissing Bella was somethingelse. I was going to do everything in my power to kiss her again, I had experienced heaven once and I loved it. I loved... Her.


	6. meeting our daughter's love

Esme's POV

I listened to the gentle rhythm of my daughter's heartbeat, I relished it. It was her tell tale sign that she was so heartbreakingly perfect; the best of Carlisle and I, the product of our love. That was what made her so perfect. I heard a falter in her beating, I paused, listening. I held my breath, waiting. Just waiting. I knew she would awaken soon. I smiled at her stirring, I heard her yawn as she woke. She immediately jumped out of bed, She never was one to laze about, just like her father, I shook my head lovingly.

Then again it was a very important day for her, she was so nervous as she hurried down the stairs, jumping the last two steps, a habit she still retained from her childhood. I shook my head at her antics. "Hello mother" she greeted, I nodded at her as I finished chopping the carrots "good morning my darling" I replied, sliding the carrot choppings from the board to the large saucepan on my left. I turned to look at her and smiled, she wore a deep blue velvet dress that flowed elegantly to the floor. ' so beautiful' I thought she blushed, looking down she smiled "thanks mum" She walked barefoot, as she always did when she was at home. I chuckled. "Where's daddy?" She asked, still blushing "at the hospital, here's picking up Edward" she smiled wistfully at the sound of his name. "Umm mum?" She began " yes darling" she bit her lip " will you help me get ready?" I nodded. Following her up the stairs, I watched her carefully, she seemed different somehow.

She sat on the rose adorned stool facing the matching rose printed vanity mirror. I picked up her brush even that matched the rose theme of her room. It was a soft white colour, metal rosebuds entwined round the handle and around the head of the brush. I gently pulled the brush through her hair, I styled it into a waterfall twist, she preferred to have to have it down than up; I thought she looked beautiful either way. I placed the brush down next to the jewlery box. I pulled one of the drawers open by its rose handles, again keeping with the theme. I skimmed my hand over the various pieces of jewlery in the box until I found the piece I was looking for. A pair of studs with a diamond in the middle and glistening sapphires surrounding it. Perfect. I passed her to them and she put them in, she held the locket from around her neck in her hand. She pressed her lips to the heart and let it fall against her chest, She sighed and closed her eyes.

Just then there was a knock on the door, Bella whipped her head to look me dead in the eyes, she looked scared. " he's here, dinner will be ready shortly, meet us downstairs when you are ready." She nodded and closed her eyes, breathing slowly. I leaned down to kiss the top of her head. I descended down the stairs, hearing Carlisles and Edwards conversation from downstairs. " you have a beautiful home, Mr Cullen" " thank you, please call me Carlisle" my husband replied. I smiled at Carlisle, reminding him to be nice, before turning to Edward "hello" I extending my hand, he shook it. We all stood aqwardly in the entrance of our home "please come through" I said as I heard my daughter arrive at the top of the stairs. "Edward" I turned to the handsome boy "my daughter will be down shortly, would you care to join us in the parlour" he nodded, gesturing for us to proceed. We entered the room and sat in silence, smiling at each other aqwardly for a few minutes before my daughter decided to make her entrance. Edward

stared at her like she was his sun, his eyes did not leave her as she made her way to her chosen seat next to Edward.

I heard a soft faint chuckle, interrupting my thoughts. I was surprised to see it came from Carlisle, and he raised his eyebrows slightly at me, tilting his head subtly towards the children. Out child was looking at me, trying to play the innocent but ruining it by grinning happily at me, probably because she was listening to Edwards thought on how absolutely perfect she was. Edward on the other hand, sat quietly in his seat whilst throwing adoring glances at my darling innocent daughter and smiling to herself. Edward turned to me and smiled gently " thank you for inviting me, Mrs Cullen, you have a simply delightful home" I smiled, he had very good manners, that just might help him further win over Carlisle, even though I was sure my husband liked this boy, Edward still had to tread with care, Carlisle was very protective of his family " please dear, call me Esme, we are already practically family after all" I grinned, Bella looked flustered " mother!" She hissed looking embarrassed. I looked over to study my husband's reaction, he had always been extra protective of his only daughter and I was keen to see how he responded. He always did know to surprise me " everyone, I believe dinner is ready" he informed our guest, it was strange that Edward did not think it strange that he knew this without looking at a clock however I just shook my head at him- quite thankful he saved Edward from any further embarrassment at my previous statement- and nodded, standing up to leave the room I heard everyone follows. The table was already set, Bella and I went to bring the serving dishes through, we set them on the table while Carlisle and Edward seated themselves. " Bella sweetheart, would you bring the plates through please?" She nodded. I seated myself on Carlisle's right. Bella returned shortly after Carlisle and I started a discussion with Edward about his school, she placed a plate in front of each of us, we whispered thank you in turn. As she approached her chair, Edward rose to pull out her chair for her, she smiled at him and he blushed slightly. He pushed her chair in and I saw my husband smile approvingly at his good manners.

I turned my attention back to Edward and Bella, what did not escape my notice was how close they were sitting. " so Edward, do you enjoy sports?" Carlisle, I groaned under my breath, Bella grinned at me in understanding, we had listened to Carlisle expressing his love of sports many times before. " yes sir, I used to play all the time" Carlisle nodded in approval, they continued their conversation whilst I started one with my daughter about the dances that had taken place recently.

We were all serving out food when I noticed Edward was only using his right hand and my daughter only her left. I chuckled, my daughter was so subtle. I looked at Carlisle to see if he had noticed, he hadn't. Edward was still talking to Carlisle, suddenly he froze.

**Edward's POV**

Why God, why is she doing this to me **in front of her dad!** I thought, I saw her grin from beside me as her finger began another journey lightly skimming over my hand. I glanced at her motherand father, hopefully they were still in a state of unaware, they seemed oblivious to the slow torture their daughter was bestowing on me. My skin tingled from where her skin met mine and I remembered the feeling of her lips against mine, my hand cupping the soft skin of her cheek. I cleared my throat. She glanced up at me innocently, eyes wide. She is so beautiful, truly god was thinking of me when he blessed the world by making her, my angel.

For if she were not an angel, what other being could make someone so beautiful as she? I felt her finger freeze on its chosen path on the palm of my hand, tracing the lines that were imprinted there before my birth. I sucked in my breath, withdrawing my hand from her reach. *Bella, can you hear my thoughts* she did not react, in fact she seemed determined not to show any emotion at all. she couldn't hear my thoughts, could she? She would have told me. She looked down, looking remorseful. *Bella, what are you* I thought, why was she not answering me, had I been driven insane? She looked up at me again looking almost determined to say something; maybe she was angry at me for taking my hand from hers, maybe she saw it as an act of one could read another's thoughts, I was just being silly, of course. I breathed a sigh of relief, I put my lapse of stupidity down to lack of sleep. I grasped her hand again, stroking the back of it with my thumb. She was my angel, of that I was sure.

Dinner ended without any further drama and soon it was time for us to leave for the hospital, I was sorry to leave, I adored Bella's family her father- although sometimes overprotective of his family- adored both his wife and their beloved daughter, he was loyal however as I already knew. it did usually take him a while to open up to people and let go of his doctor side. On the other hand, Bella's mother-esme- was warm and loving, she accepted everyone for who they are with open arms. Anyone could see where Bella gets her strong traits from however there was also her strong personality that was entirely her own. Her selflessness, her fierce temper that her parents often talked about- whilst laughing- that I hoped to never be on the receiving end of and her incredible kindness that made her so easy to talk to because you already know that whatever you say, she will always listen. My perfect angel. My parents had often wondered why I had never showed any interest in members of the opposite sex but now I realized that no one could ever hold the appeal that Bella holds for me. She brought forth desires that I had never thought of before, it was now I needed my father more than ever.

I walked to the car with Bella's father, the ride to the house I had thought would be aqward but instead it gave Carlisle and I the chance to talk.

Bella's father helped me down the steps outside the hospital, I had known my muscles would be sore, but not to this extent. I had been put on bed rest all day yesterday and up until ten minutes ago today in preparation for today. " Edward, if you feel to sore, it is ok, Bella would rather not see you in pain in an effort to please her" I shook my head, gritting my teeth and sliding into the car, ignoring the pain in my side. He apologized " it might be a bit of a long ride, we live outside of the town" I smiled. We sat in companiable silence for a few minutes, before Dr Cullen broke it "may I ask you a question, Edward" I swallowed nervously " of course, sir" Mr Cullen chuckled "it's Carlisle, Edward, We are no longer at the hospital" I nodded. He pursed his lips, obviously deciding his choice of words. He spoke slowly, "You obviously like my daughter, I admit you are not the first to show an interest, however you are the first I'm actually considering." I looked up hopefully at him " Isabella is my only daughter, the most precious gift I can bestow. This gift should not be taken lightly, you should understand,should Isabella pick you, as ultimately it is her decision, I need to know that she will be taken care of." He stopped looking at me expectantly, I was shocked then slowly I began to pour my every feeling for Bella out.

when I see her, its like nothing else matters, she's my everything. Ever since I met her, I can't think of anything else, my whole life revolves around her. With every decision, without even thinking about it, I think about her reaction. It's scary how intense my feelings are for her, I love her, I know I have not known her very long but I do love her" I finished, realising that I had just confessed my love to Bella's father and not Bella herself. When I looked up, I was surprised he was grinning at me. " then you have my blessing, but do you have Bella's love." He asked " she told me that she loved me but.." you doubt her " he questioned, half smiling. I shook my head " what if I am not enough for her" he chuckled " I think you should talk with Bella about your fears, I know she also has some things to tell you if she is to be with you." He nodded as I pulled up outside our house.*


	7. goodbye

Its all my fault; I coveted what should have never been mine. This is my punishment, a punishment that should have been mine to bear but she suffered in my place. It should have been me. I curled up on my bed; leaning my head on my knees, as the sobs wracked through my body. I do not know how long I sat there, time was irrelevant. I must have fell asleep at one point as I heard a small voice try and call me from the darkness "Edward?" the melodic voice called, I tried to reach back to them but the call of darkness; my safe haven from the pain, was too strong and I slipped back into the familiar abyss of dusk. Just before I knocked out completely, I felt a pair of comforting arms wrap around me and whisper in my ear; their breath tickling me, "I'm here Edward, I'm here."

Carlisle's POV

I sighed happily to myself as Edward and I arrived back to the hospital, everything finally seemed to be working out for our family. Bella was happy and I think she was leaning towards changing Edward, though I was yet unsure if she would ask me to do it or if she would wish to do it herself. I was not sure if I had the strength to stop myself, I had only ever changed my Esme however that was in different circumstances, she was dying and I had no choice in the matter. I could not let her die. As we entered the Edward's room, I knew something was wrong; Edward's mother was not there. I tried to recall if she had any tests booked in for today. I told Edward to get some rest, and set off to discover where Mrs Mason had got to. However as I exited the door, I saw a small figure being pushed towards the morgue, it was not uncommon for doctors to put dying patients in there. We needed all the beds we could get, however I hated to think of these poor people surrounded by corpses as their life faded away. I followed the bed, deciding to look for Edward's mother later.

"Are you sure there is nothing that can be done?" I asked, desperate for the answer that I knew would not come. The doctor shook his head, bowing his head slightly and exited the room, leaving the patient and I alone. I looked helplessly at the sleeping form in front of me; I pulled another blanket around the shivering figure as a burst of cold air crept in through the open door. I pressed the back of my hand to their forehead, too hot, the end was near, I could feel it. "Carlisle" she whispered, her voice, dry and croaky. I sighed and turned my head as someone knocked on the door. "Dad?" She whispered to me, "Come in" I answered in a whisper as not to wake the patient. Bella slowly entered the room, walking towards me hesitantly. "How is she?" she asked as she reached us, gesturing to the still shivering woman in front of us. I sighed heavily "she has a very high fever" I paused "she does not have long left, she is completely out of it, I don't think she is even aware that we are here" she looked at me she needs him. I nodded, leaving the room.

Bella's POV

I sank into the chair next to her, pausing slightly before hesitantly reaching for her hand. "I know you worry for him but I promise, even if he does not choose me; I swear I will look after him. I know I will never be good enough for him and this life is not what you wanted for Edward but I must ask him, I cannot let him die, but it will always be his choice, I promise". I looked down at Mrs Mason, now left a shell of her former self. Her dry lips slowly parted as her eyelids fluttered, trying to open. Even the small movements seemed to take a toll on her. Her green eyes- a perfect match to her son's- had now lost its regular gleam, her voice came out as a croak, her words leaving me speechless. Though even they seemed to be too much for her, her eyes flickered shut and she lay unmoving except for the gentle moving of her chest as her she breathed in and out. I gently squeezed her hand, humming a melody to soothe her, she looked oddly more at peace than before she spoke. Please no, please not yet, give me more time I heard Edward approaching, his thoughts frantic with worry. I turned to face the door as Edward gingerly opened it and approached his mother and I, I heard that my father was outside. Edward sank to his knee's next to the bed, I slipped my hand from his mother's "I'll give you some time alone" he looked at me; his eyes wide like a scared child. "I'll be back soon, i will be just outside" he nodded; I mouthed 'I love you' as i exited the room.

I sank to the floor against the wall, my forehead resting on my knees, tears spilling down my cheeks. My dad wrapped his arms around me, half pulling me into his lap, gently shushing me. "Bella, we do need to talk, you know what this means" I shook my head, pushing my thoughts into his mind 'I'm not ready, I can't' "I'm sorry Bella, but you know as well as I do that we are running out of time, you need to decide whether you are changing him or not" 'It has to be his choice' i thought "Then let him choose, its his life, its his choice" he pleaded as Edward ran out from the door next to me and around the corner, I pushed off from the wall following him as quick as I could while remaining at human speed, leaving my dad in the same position on the floor.


	8. Forever and always

I followed Edward all the way back to his room, when he fell to the floor crying I gathered him in my arms, rocking him gently. He sobbed into the crook in my crook, the feeling his tears rolling down on my skin made me shiver, I held him for hours occasionally wiping his tears when he finally spoke. He lifted his head till he was looking me dead in the eyes, he frowned at my tear streaked face he cupped my face with both of his hands and his thumbs stroked my cheeks, getting rid of the last falling tear. "your crying, I made you cry. If it weren't for us you would not be. We would be any other patients and we would not matter to you" I pushed his chest so we were no longer touching "you think I could watch you or anyone die and not care, do you really think that low of me" I shouted. "No, you are the most amazing person I have ever met, I know you care" _you care too much for me, I'll hurt you _"ill hurt you" Edward said echoing his thoughts "how?" I asked, confused even his thoughts are muddled up, I could not make sense of them.

"when I die, you will be even sadder and I won't be here to make it better" he put his finger under my chin making me look at him "I'm going to die, there is nothing you can do" I sucked in my breath. " what if there was?" I asked daringly, he looked at me in disapproval "this is not a game" I moved so we were both siiting cross legged facing each other, I needed to see his eyes, the windows to his very soul if I was going to actually have the guts to talk to him about this. " I need to know, if you could live a life with me, an eternity by my side, as equals, would you" he reached forward to stroke my cheek "of course, nothing would make me happier but.." I interrupted him, not wanting to hear 'buts' I needed to make him understand. "even if it meant giving up your family, your life, everything you have ever known, a shot at heaven" his eyes softened "you're the only family I will ever need, you are my life, the only heaven i dream of is of us together forever" I made a snap decision to tell him everything about me before I lost my nerve, I opened my mouth, ready to put my heart on the line and let Edward make his decision.

"Edward, my family and I are vampires" he froze, staring at me confused. "Just listen ok? Then if you want me to leave I will, I promise. My dad was changed hundreds of years ago however he did not meet my mother until 17 years ago, while she was still human. She had fallen from a tree and broke her wrist when she had it examined at the hospital, my father was her doctor. It was love at first sight, they dated for 5 years before they… um.. Consummated their relationship. My father left my mother that day, you see vampires are very strong and fast and my father felt so ashamed that he had hurt my mother. He thought he was protecting her, a few weeks later my mother found out she was pregnant with me. My father came back and I was delivered, I'm half vampire, half human" I clarified, he looked at me confused "is there difference between full vampires and half-vampires" I looked at him shocked "you're not scared, you're not running from me" he shook his head leaning so our foreheads were pressed together, he looked deeply into my eyes. "I love you for you, this is what you meant, is it not about if I could have a life with you" I nodded then shook my head. "I don't know what I meant, I can't believe I'm asking this of you" he smiled. "Asking of me? An eternity with you seems much better than death" I shook my head at his naivety.  
" You still don't understand, you will be in pain, in absolute agony as you change, you will never be able to sleep again, you will never be able to go out in the sunshine or or.." he pressed his hand over my mouth, effectively silencing me "I don't care, a life with you is what I want, I don't care about the details" I shook my head in disbelief "even though we don't drink human's, you do realise you will have to drink animal blood" I watched his reaction carefully, he noticed my staring and smiled "yum bear" I smiled back at him. "Actually I prefer lion" then I frowned again "you're sure this is what you want" he nodded "take me to our forever, my love" I pressed my lips to his, ignoring the call of his blood. I pulled back as his hands travelled down to my waist, I needed to make plans with Carlisle if he was going to change Edward for me

"Edward, if your serious" I paused and I nodded, biting my lip " we better go back to my house then, as a 'new-born' you will need a lot of blood and it will be easier for Carlisle to change you if..", "Carlisle?" Edward asked confused, I was shocked he thought I was going to change him. He saw my hesitancy and his voice took a pleading tone "please, I want only your venom to change me, I want _you _to take me to our forever, please Bella, only you" I thought it over quickly as he watched me, his pleading face broke my heart and my will, I nodded slowly. "However on one condition, my father will be downstairs to make sure everything goes smoothly" he agreed immediately, _forever. _I smiled at his thoughts, he noticed and he suddenly looked terrified "can you read my thoughts!" I started laughing wildly and nodding. He flushed red, burying his face in his hands "oh god, what you must have heard" I reached over to wrap my arms around him "I can only hear when you I look into someone's eyes" my own eyes softened, remembering Edward's thoughts about me "you think I'm beautiful, when I'm happy it makes you happy, you constantly make sure I'm all right, you.. You love me" he nodded "I do, now I need to ask you a question, will you change me?" I pressed my lips back to his, whispering against his lips "yes".

I pulled away as I heard my dad's thoughts apologizing to me in advance for interrupting us _I'm sorry honey but If you are going to change him tonight we need to leave now, I'll drive you two back _"my dad says we need to leave now if I am changing you tonight, he's going to announce your death tomorrow and resign shortly after" Edward nodded and we walked out of the room hand in hand to our forever.  
Edward laid back on my.. our bed and let out a shaky breath, I searched his eyes for any signs of doubt, I found none but I needed to ask again "are you sure, honey" he nodded, his eyes softened as he stroked my cheek "as sure as my love for you, as sure as your love for me" I laughed slightly before kissing him gently. This kiss told everything I could not put into words. my promise, my hopes, my doubts, my fears and above all my love for him. My lips slowly trailed down his strong jaw, placing gentle kisses onto his skin until I reached his throat, I froze, scared of losing him but scared of giving him forever. Sensing my distress, Edward whispered a word that made me lean forward and place one last gentle kiss on his throat before giving him what he wanted. _Forever._


End file.
